Could it really be such a simple battle fix? Wouldn't it be more likely that Robutte would have summoned a Techpriest to do it?
As far as the writing technique, I think it's decent. The "sore afraid" I've also heard in Shakespear, I think, but you didn't write the whole thing in Olde King's English. You wrote it in modern global, which kind of negates the reasonability of incorporating just one line of Ye Olde Vernacular... But again. You're using modern english which is evolving all the time. So, perhaps we just need to let you pioneer something and see if it catches on. |