[Ides]

+++No, I am infinitely quicker without an organic+++

Remove the no here.


He wasn't at all disturbed by the fact he was finding it difficult to come to terms with it. Quite the reverse, actually.

(you might be able to expand on the reverse bit, or else switch actually for something else. As it is, it seems a bit casual for a third person narrative.)

He was used to the smog and pig iron of the Imperial Hive Cities, and the ugly steel subterranean
factories that played home to criminal underworlds, and the interrogation room, much like the medicae unit and, now he thought, the hangar, made him uneasy. It was the sterility. It was unnatural. Like someone had allowed a sea of some liquid flow through the entire ship.

Not sure about this. A sea of some liquid what? Does he feel some sort of suppressed discomfort at the sight of the sterile surfaces?

“Neither The Milky Way, nor this galaxy, belong to the Imperium of Man...anymore.”


Me and my race are descended from a very large brood of Tyranid Warriors your Imperium called Tyranicii Preafectea.”

Given the educated tone that Arkot seems to display My race and I might be better here.

All I have so far, I'll re-read the rest later and see what I can come up with.