it a pretty good list
the only little things i'd ever question is the redundancy aspect with the tac squad weapons, and the combat shields on the sergeants...
while i do see then benifit of the redundancy approch, (losing a single squad won't cripple your army's ability to deal with one type of foe), there is the fact that you do waste one weapon each time...
but then, this is a personal taste thing, so if it works for you, then keep with it!
i'd honestly lose the combat shields though as it's very, very difficult to single out UC's now... the only things to watch out for would be 'torrent of blows' and/or an IC in base-to-base that is 'engaged' with the sergeant...
you might even consider droping all the frag grenades & melta bombs and get some scouts w/bolt pistols & ccw's? they are without doubt the ultiment assault unit in the space marine codex!
by saving the 20pts on the combat shields and taking the extra armour & smokes from the pred, you could give your tank 'power of the machine spirt' by finding another 2pts!
with POTMS, your pred becomes a real threat, even when shaken!
just some thoughts,
cheers!