[Dragoon King]

Right, I feel a little awkward sharing this, and that's saying something, cause you all know I have no shame. I'm having serious problems right now. First off, here's some of my gripes. First off, me and the wife have been fighting alot. We are both stressed to the max. She is not supposed to be out of bed, but all her family wants to do is call here at all hours of the night and have her run errands. Now I like her family, don't get me wrong, but all they seem to do is stress her. I won't go into much detail, cause I got a lot more problems. Next, her dog. I'm not a dog person. The dog does not obey me, and he has a habit now of going #2 on the sidewalk. This drives me insane. Plus he gets hair everywhere. Which leads me to this. I have a cat who I've owned for 8 years, and when I moved in here, she started loosing lots of weight and throwing up almost every day(she was always chubby) and I think the dog has given here worms or something. I've took her to the vet, and in short all they did was take my money and give me wormer that didn't work. I got some more wormer, gave it to her last night, and I fear she may not make it till I can get some money to take her to another vet (I'm broke, which I'll get to in a minute). She has done nothing but lay around all day, and can barely walk. She is a pack of bones. Indeed, this is stressing me to no end. Back to the dog. I want it gone, but the wife refuses. I don't want animals around when the baby arrives (forgot to mention the wife is preggy), and I'm willing to give up my cat, but only if I can get her healthy again and find her a good home, where she will be taken care of and loved. We have been fighting about this alot lately. It has gotten so bad I just wanna pack up and leave. The dog keeps me stressed, and therefore my nerves are on edge. Also, we have a sorry excuse for a landlord. There is a smell that comes from underneath the house that smells like raw sewage. The drains in this house stay clogged, but he will do nothing about it. Now, the drains are one thing, the smell is a real concern. I think a line has busted. When we brought it up to the landlord, he simply said get some RidX. Oh yeah, money. The wife is not able to work, she has been bleeding, and the doctor put her on bedrest. I am not working either, and I've been trying to get someone to take me to look for work. No luck. I do not drive, and she is going back to work this weekend, so I feel like I'm stuck in this hole. Plus our bed is crap, and I'm still sore from the surgery, and it's not really getting better. I was gonna take some online courses for medical transcription, but it costs money, which I don't have. On top of this, my grandmother is very sick with cancer, and my brother-in-law had an epidural because he has severe back pain, and now he has almost no feeling in his legs. His condition is getting better, and I don't think the damage will be permanent, but my sister is also pregnant and stressed over this, so I worry about that also. Now, to my unborn baby. As some of you know, the wife had a miscarriage back in the summer. With the new pregnancy, I do not feel attached to the child. Matter of fact, I kinda want everyone just to leave me alone. I've never been real cold-hearted, but it seems with every passing day I become more irritable and jaded. Seriously, the wife and I have had some major fights in the last few days, and that is good for noone, the baby especially. Now, I believe in God, and have even thought seriously about being saved very soon. But lately I have stopped talking (no, I'm not a nutjob, I mean talking from my heart) to him, which I used to do every day. I feel as though he has forgotten about me, that I am not worthy of his grace. I try to do the best I can, but it always seems to end in failure. I don't know, maybe I'm just being a big baby about all this. Inside I feel my spirit is broken, and I don't feel like trying anymore.