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05-23-2007
| #1 (permalink) |
| Conscript  Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 11
Rep Power: 0  Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
|  40k Toy Making Contest This thread is an unofficial gag contest to see who has the funniest mind here. We'll need some judges and some form of joke prize. You don't have to literatly make a toy, just create a 40k toy idea. -Theme: Create a funny toy related to War Hammer 40k. -Rules: Same as normal humor rules. Each category is by race, with an overall category as well. You get one entry per race. Well, here's my entries. 1. Tickle Me Khorne. When you tickle him, he laughs with a horrible evil laugh and eventually says horrible things to its owner. (Use your imagination.) |
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05-24-2007
| #2 (permalink) |
| Corporal    Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: New Zealand
Posts: 402
Rep Power: 2 Thanks: 12
Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts
 | +The remote control Warbuggie+ It's fast,load and if you crash it just tape it back together and it will run like new.no batteries required just think it would work and it does.Buy yours today. (Insert cheesy jingle here)
__________________  In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. -Douglas Adams Am I jumping the gun, Baldrick, or are the words 'I have a cunning plan' marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation? -Mr. Blackadder Last edited by calvor; 05-24-2007 at 12:44 AM. |
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05-24-2007
| #3 (permalink) |
| Corporal  Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Back in NYC
Posts: 475
Rep Power: 2 Thanks: 3
Thanked 33 Times in 26 Posts
| That is a common misconception about the psycho-kinetic technology of the orks. They need the basics for anything to work e.g. ammunition in thier shootas and gas in their trukks. What the don't need is a sensibly functioning mechanism e.g. cogs that are actually cogs and not old hubcaps or for a tube to actually have a point of outflux as well as influx. Lemme see toy idea. G.I JoeGuardsman - but it is just a figure of me hunched over my paint table. Ok seriously. A life sized Lelith Hesperax, wait we are talking about kids toys. K. How about "My little Golden Throne." Never have to worry about potty training again.
__________________ "Only the insane have strength enough to prosper, only those that prosper may truly judge what is sane." |
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05-24-2007
| #4 (permalink) |
| The Great Wolf     Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: BFE Kentucky
Posts: 2,235
Rep Power: 3 Thanks: 42
Thanked 69 Times in 53 Posts
  | "Talking IG Joe with the Kung Fu Grip" 12" action figures...of course you'ld have to buy lots of em and then there's the armor and all (talk about a money maker...LOL)...and that grip...the only way you can get em to hold onto his rifle when he's screaming about how besmudged his lot in life is...or how bad the food is...or how much he hates bein dragged to and dumped on some Emperor forsaken rock fightin for God Emperor knows what...
__________________ I am Wolfpack, my fangs are long, my hair grey with age...I am The Great Wolf...I fight with bolter and Axe, my armies vast, my word final. A true son of Russ, my honor above all, I hunt the heretic, the xenos, and the witch and slay them where they stand!  My sons hunt our enemies, slay them where they falter and bring their pelts to Fenris  |
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05-24-2007
| #5 (permalink) |
| The Great Wolf Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: BFE Kentucky
Posts: 2,235
Rep Power: 3 Thanks: 42
Thanked 69 Times in 53 Posts
| Sorry Joe but at least we're thinkin along the same lines here...LMAO
__________________ I am Wolfpack, my fangs are long, my hair grey with age...I am The Great Wolf...I fight with bolter and Axe, my armies vast, my word final. A true son of Russ, my honor above all, I hunt the heretic, the xenos, and the witch and slay them where they stand! My sons hunt our enemies, slay them where they falter and bring their pelts to Fenris |
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05-24-2007
| #6 (permalink) |
| Corporal Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: New Zealand
Posts: 402
Rep Power: 2 Thanks: 12
Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts
| Joe seeing as I collect orks and have read about the psycho-kinetic technology of the orks I already knew about that they needed the basics for the things to work and I only meant that thinking of it working and it does as a spin on there unique technology.
__________________ In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. -Douglas Adams Am I jumping the gun, Baldrick, or are the words 'I have a cunning plan' marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation? -Mr. Blackadder |
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05-24-2007
| #7 (permalink) |
| Adeptus Arbrites    Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,691
Rep Power: 2 Thanks: 14
Thanked 67 Times in 36 Posts
| +inquisition magic eight ball+ yes sir, this magic eight ball has everything in it that the inquisition knows! go on, just ask it a question! "inquisition magic eight ball, will i ever get married?" "trying to spy into the future, eh heratic? die!" *disclaimer:"inquisition eight ball" and its manufacterer "inquisition Inc." are not responsible for any purgings, executions, or Extirminatus used as retrobution for you asking questions you should know nothing of, you filthy, filthy traitor. For Him on the Throne. Buy Yours Now! |
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05-24-2007
| #8 (permalink) | |
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05-24-2007
| #9 (permalink) | |
| Lieutenant  Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Im not entirely sure. I think im stuck inside an alternate reality where im blue and the sky is me.
Posts: 1,042
Rep Power: 2 Thanks: 53
Thanked 28 Times in 25 Posts
Blog Entries: 1 | Large 18" Chaplain! With real moving parts! Has 12 - 19 (Pay more, you get more!) unique phrases, including "Die in the name of the Emporer you scum!" and "Heretical Filth, feel the power of the Adeptus Astartus!" Can be programmed to walk, talk and kill. And never let's you down! A good friend for the rest of Eternity. (Insert picture of the toy here, and a sound of it saying "DIE DIE DIE!") We hope you enjoy! Buy now for some price around £15! We don't know! As long as you pay! PAY! PAY IN THE NAME OF THE EMPORER! Any Deaths Related to this product, are not curtousy of We'd love you to die Inc, so therefore, if you die whilst using the product, we are not liable. Pay extra, and we will be! PAY! EVEN IN THE SMALL PRINT! PAY! PAY FOR US! SPEND MONEY! MAUHAAH! YOU SHALT PAY! IN THE NAME OF THE EMPORER... sorry, we have run out of characters to spend in this small print, Goodbye, and have a lovely day.
__________________  'Heretical filth... I am an Inquisitor... I AM YOUR JUST LAW!' - Inquisitor Julius Sedaire   Quote:
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05-25-2007
| #10 (permalink) |
| Trooper  Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: NZ
Posts: 107
Rep Power: 2 Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
| i know.. I KNOW... I KNOW KILLER KAN 'Dats right Boyz DA GEAR HEADS CLAN have now made a real Killer Kan.. an its now for sale. It iz 3 MT tall and it comes with a Big Shoota and Big Killiy Arm With big Claws at Da end...only 500 $$ and if you buy with Credit Card we will take 20% of FOR FREE* BUY NOW! *only if you are an ork that has a permit to use any thing that can kill or hamr someone. for gork an mork. form DA GEAR HEADS CLAN inc @ planet dakka
__________________ WAAAAAAAAGGHH dat rigt we orks...ned i say morr  |
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05-25-2007
| #11 (permalink) |
| Corporal  Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Tucson, Arizona
Posts: 241
Rep Power: 2 Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
| Here's one... Kids, are you tired of your scrawny, normal body? Have you dreamed of being able to demolish cars with a mere thought? Dream no longer, because now there is "Kiddienought", yes friends, a kid sized sarcophogi of destruction. The set up is easy, we stuff you into it and your good to go! Now, for a limited time offer, you'll get for only 3 easy payments of $33.33 Note: once installed, you may be in there for eternity;we take no responsibility for any injury done as a result of insanity
__________________ En Taro Adun Mon-Keigh |
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05-27-2007
| #13 (permalink) | |
| Lieutenant Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Im not entirely sure. I think im stuck inside an alternate reality where im blue and the sky is me.
Posts: 1,042
Rep Power: 2 Thanks: 53
Thanked 28 Times in 25 Posts
Blog Entries: 1 | Rofl! Brilliant Advert Tim! =]
__________________ 'Heretical filth... I am an Inquisitor... I AM YOUR JUST LAW!' - Inquisitor Julius Sedaire Quote:
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08-14-2007
| #14 (permalink) |
| Destruction Manifest  Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Loyall, Kentucky
Posts: 2,660
Rep Power: 3 Thanks: 70
Thanked 95 Times in 73 Posts
Blog Entries: 1  | How about a Ork Wartrukk Power Wheel? Better yet, a White Scars Big Wheel! My personal fave, My little Abbadon, just like My Little Pony, except instead of brushing a mane and tail, you get to brush a cool topknot!
__________________  “Nothing you can lose by dying is half so precious as the readiness to die, which is a man’s charter of nobility.” George Santayana. |
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08-14-2007
| #15 (permalink) |
| The Great Wolf Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: BFE Kentucky
Posts: 2,235
Rep Power: 3 Thanks: 42
Thanked 69 Times in 53 Posts
| LMAO...how about my little Warhound...complete with scaffolding and a powerwasher...teach those lil buggers the proper way to serve the emperor...LMAO
__________________ I am Wolfpack, my fangs are long, my hair grey with age...I am The Great Wolf...I fight with bolter and Axe, my armies vast, my word final. A true son of Russ, my honor above all, I hunt the heretic, the xenos, and the witch and slay them where they stand! My sons hunt our enemies, slay them where they falter and bring their pelts to Fenris |
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08-14-2007
| #16 (permalink) |
| Destruction Manifest Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Loyall, Kentucky
Posts: 2,660
Rep Power: 3 Thanks: 70
Thanked 95 Times in 73 Posts
Blog Entries: 1 | Kroot-in-the-box! Khorne Slip and Slide, with real blood instead of water!
__________________ “Nothing you can lose by dying is half so precious as the readiness to die, which is a man’s charter of nobility.” George Santayana. |
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12-18-2007
| #18 (permalink) |
| Major  Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: U-S-A!!U-S-A!!U-S-A!!U-S-A!!U-S-A!!
Posts: 1,771
Rep Power: 2 Thanks: 204
Thanked 122 Times in 96 Posts
| Andjust in time for christmas Hokey Pokey Iron Warrior "puts in and out only the cybernetic limbs"
__________________  ""A true patriot is a lover of his country who rebukes and does not excuse its sins." Frederick Douglass "A toll is a toll, and a roll is a roll, if we dont get no tolls then we dont eat no rolls" Little John Robin Hood: Men in Tights |
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12-19-2007
| #19 (permalink) | |
| Master Procrastinator    Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: As a figment of my own deranged imagination, i don't actually exist anywhere. Or London, UK.
Posts: 3,446
Rep Power: 5 Thanks: 207
Thanked 363 Times in 262 Posts
Blog Entries: 1 | My First Daemon Weapon. has your little tyke got the urge to destroy the weak in the name of dark gods? does he have a thing for mindless slaughter? does he like to look the part whilst doing it? then My First Daemon Weapon is all he needs! 4 foot long and made of a soul destroying (but child safe) warp born metal and accompanied by wailing and demented heretical wisperings with every life ending swing, My First Daemon Weapon is all an aspiring megalomaniacal evil tyrant needs! order now and recieve a free subscription to what possession?magazine, a users guide to sharing your body with a daemon. any rebellious uprisings of local neighbourhood children intent on overthrowing society and replacing wholesome values with dark beliefs is due entirely to bad parenting and is in no way connected to or caused by the product. may cause extreem physical mutation and bouts of genocidal behaviour
__________________ Quote:
 Howling At The Moon - A Truescale Space Wolf W.I.P Black Legion W.I.P Frozen Leaves Falling to Cut - eldar W.I.P | |
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12-19-2007
| #20 (permalink) |
| First Chaplain  Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Louisville, KY
Posts: 6,395
Rep Power: 6 Thanks: 170
Thanked 344 Times in 223 Posts
Blog Entries: 5 | New from 'Imperial Comissariat Toys' is the Steel Legion Commissar costume! Is that family of orks down the street giving you problems? Un-ruly neighbors dog shatting on your lawn? Or does your kid just like to be the Hall Monitor in class, or maybe is overly fond of starching his school uniform and bellowing out rules like 'DON'T CUT IN LINE?' Then worry not! Comissariat Toys, Inc. has the perfect gift for the possibly demented fanatic! Comes with a 'my first chainsword' crafted from the finest forges in Taiwan, and guaranteed to slice through bone and all dissent to the God-Emperors Light, or we'll pay the attorney and doctors fee! And, perhaps little Johnny is crying to mommy about not havign his right arm anymore? Silence the blubbering baby and his family, Commissar style with the Ibram Gaunt edition of 'Little Comissars First Bolt Pistol'! Guaranteed to spew the divine wrath of the Emperor to the delight of the whole family, and now with sounds effects to add to the pathetic screams of the dieing heretics! Wow... I'm disturbed at myself now..
__________________  "Truth is infinite. It is defined by our perception of the facts; therefore we can never know absolute truth, we can only guess at it. A man who knows he has done no wrong needs no redemption, regardless of the views of others. The truth is what he believes it to be. A man who knows he has done wrong can only be redeemed when he chooses to forgive himself." -Lord Inquisitor Balkoth Black Saints Adeptus Astartes Chapter |
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12-19-2007
| #21 (permalink) |
| Lieutenant  Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,116
Rep Power: 2 Thanks: 0
Thanked 73 Times in 57 Posts
Blog Entries: 2 | Cuddle Me Kharn:a nice looking high quality Kharn the betrayer plushie that when you hug says such child freindly things as: ''BWAHAHAHAHAHA'', ''Kill! Maim! Burn!'', ''BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD'' and ''I'll rend you limb from useless limb'' now it comes with authentic chain axe sounds buy now for the low low price of 19.99$ with shipping and handeling Next month: Tickle me Typhus! Keep your eye peeled for the new plushie joys to come!
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12-19-2007
| #22 (permalink) |
| Corporal  Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Belfast, N. Ireland
Posts: 365
Rep Power: 1 Thanks: 17
Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts
| LOL hmmm Cuddle me Typhus (thanks wakim )Kids? Embarassed of constantly soiling yourself at school and everyone knows its you and makes fun of you ? Carry a Cuddle me Typhus around, apart from being the envy of all your mates , you'll also have something to guise your own soiled smell. Blame it on Typhus ! Its the perfect excuse !! **Warning; do not soil directly onto Typhus, as the mixed chemicals may result in a reality rift in the warp and the real Typhus might step out of it and PWN YO A$$ !** Recommened age ; 13+ Funniest age to watch use it; Under 3's 
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12-19-2007
| #23 (permalink) | |
| the age of insects  Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Pelossus Alida
Posts: 1,854
Rep Power: 2 Thanks: 329
Thanked 66 Times in 59 Posts
| haha i don't have any ideas, but i just wanted to say that this is the most sickeningly funny thread i've seen in a while...hahaha. and i mean sickeningly, in all definitions of the word.
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12-19-2007
| #24 (permalink) |
| Trooper  Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Bass Ackwards Niddle of Mowhere
Posts: 76
Rep Power: 0 Thanks: 0
Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts
| The new Tzeentch bank! Tired of your same old same old piggy banks and plastic safes? Want to make some spare change too? Get something to really change your world! The Tzeentch bank of change will truly shake up your life and bring a new definition to your concept of what is change! Buy now for only $81.99! That's right only 81.99! Warning. Revolution, civil war, terrorism, insanity and having too many pennies than you know what to do with are not necessarily resultant of owning the Tzeentch Bank of Change, and therefore we are not responsible for any havoc, mayhem or shena****ns which erupt in your area. Placing dollar bills, especially the American $2 bill, inside the bank may result in demon summoning, posession, a rift in the warp, or even the assassination of Andy Hoar. We would advise you to avoid the risk. Also in our collection, we have the Slaanesh Sensual Showerhead! For all those times you have been drawn into something only to be severely disappointed in the output by a certain someone, or even for just relaxing after a long, hard, screwed up day, the Slaanesh Sensual Showerhead massager is the best gift you can buy for yourself or that special someone! All on sale now at just $69.99, and if you buy within the next 6 minutes, we'll sell you two for the cost of one! The showerhead not only massages, but sings the siren song to ease away your worries. Warning. Use of this product may result in extended periods of arousal and should not be used without consulting your local commissariat and medicae facility first. Discontinue use if possession seems imminent, recurrent or somehow unpleasant. Seek medical attention if posessions last longer than four hours. DarkGodz8star is not responsible for any loss of life or soul, mutation of body, extrasensory overload or otherwise negative effects. Further disclaimer: In America, commercials have grown somewhat adult oriented, even around dinner times and such. Cable television tends to host commercials for adult male enhancement, medical conditions of dysfunction, and so forth... I would hope what language I've used isn't against the forum rules. But if they are, I appologize, and ask merely that the post be edited, or censored with a warning, rather than any severe punishments being inflicted. Thanks. |
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12-19-2007
| #25 (permalink) |
| First Chaplain Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Louisville, KY
Posts: 6,395
Rep Power: 6 Thanks: 170
Thanked 344 Times in 223 Posts
Blog Entries: 5 | Excellent! both of them made me smile! The missus liked the shower head bit!  
__________________ "Truth is infinite. It is defined by our perception of the facts; therefore we can never know absolute truth, we can only guess at it. A man who knows he has done no wrong needs no redemption, regardless of the views of others. The truth is what he believes it to be. A man who knows he has done wrong can only be redeemed when he chooses to forgive himself." -Lord Inquisitor Balkoth |
