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11-18-2006
| #1 (permalink) |
| Filthy, Dirty Radical      Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: lost in a blizzard, somewhere near toronto!
Posts: 3,018
Rep Power: 4  Thanks: 32
Thanked 262 Times in 193 Posts
|  you KNOW it's going to be a bad day in the imperial guard when... ... you wake up in the morning and realise that dream you had about "volunteering" for service wasn't a dream at all! cheers!
__________________ "Who are you to question my methods?! A 'Puritan' is simply a coward who hides behind a veil of pretended faith and denounces his loyal brother as a traitor out of simple jealousy!" - Inquisitor Odion   |
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11-18-2006
| #2 (permalink) |
| The Grammar Cop   Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: the TC personal =][= estate on Encaladus
Posts: 1,730
Rep Power: 2 Thanks: 55
Thanked 25 Times in 18 Posts
Blog Entries: 4   | your commander says "ok boys, HQ called in, they're bringing in the big guns - we're gonna win!" *cheers* and when you ask "what big guns" he answers "oh, some extermina-something"
__________________ My Site: www.freewebs.com/ejshtuffz All of my stuff are there. Current Projects, etc. General Wargaming Guide: here Picture/Art Blog: here (BT) Asomrof: Crusade Fluff: here Crusaders Fluff: here  (BT) "2k7-2k8 NHL Season" Crusade (i.e. Ottawa Senators) [WIP] http://www.freewebs.com/jason-lastword/index.htm |
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11-18-2006
| #4 (permalink) |
| The Ruler of Earth  Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Good old England!
Posts: 1,059
Rep Power: 2 Thanks: 19
Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts
| When you realise that you should have been charging up your lasgun rather than playing poker with the local inhabitants.
__________________ By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity -- another man's, I mean. - Mark Twain  |
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11-18-2006
| #5 (permalink) |
| The Grammar Cop Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: the TC personal =][= estate on Encaladus
Posts: 1,730
Rep Power: 2 Thanks: 55
Thanked 25 Times in 18 Posts
Blog Entries: 4 | when you realise those local inhabitants are chaos-possessed super-orks
__________________ My Site: www.freewebs.com/ejshtuffz All of my stuff are there. Current Projects, etc. General Wargaming Guide: here Picture/Art Blog: here (BT) Asomrof: Crusade Fluff: here Crusaders Fluff: here (BT) "2k7-2k8 NHL Season" Crusade (i.e. Ottawa Senators) [WIP] http://www.freewebs.com/jason-lastword/index.htm |
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11-18-2006
| #6 (permalink) |
| The Ruler of Earth Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Good old England!
Posts: 1,059
Rep Power: 2 Thanks: 19
Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts
| When you realise you crapped yourself in your parade uniform.
__________________ By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity -- another man's, I mean. - Mark Twain |
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11-18-2006
| #8 (permalink) |
| The Ruler of Earth Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Good old England!
Posts: 1,059
Rep Power: 2 Thanks: 19
Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts
| You mention leaving to join the Tau without noticing your Commissar standing next to you. You realise that to save money you have been supplied a flashlight instead of a lasgun. And its not very bright.
__________________ By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity -- another man's, I mean. - Mark Twain Last edited by Killermoose; 11-18-2006 at 01:28 PM. |
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11-18-2006
| #9 (permalink) |
| Filthy, Dirty Radical Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: lost in a blizzard, somewhere near toronto!
Posts: 3,018
Rep Power: 4 Thanks: 32
Thanked 262 Times in 193 Posts
| ... you realise the munitorium officers forgot to issue you with your copy of the imperial infantryman's uplifting primer as the commissar asks to see it! ... you realise your mock-up lasgun is far more lethal the the real one! ... you realise the munitorium stockpiles only have size 5 las cells and you need size 3's!
__________________ "Who are you to question my methods?! A 'Puritan' is simply a coward who hides behind a veil of pretended faith and denounces his loyal brother as a traitor out of simple jealousy!" - Inquisitor Odion |
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11-18-2006
| #10 (permalink) | |
| Extremis Diabolus  Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: in the shadows.
Posts: 1,277
Rep Power: 3 Thanks: 55
Thanked 24 Times in 21 Posts
| Quote:
... when you hear that wet thud that could only be a barbed strangler firing your way... ... when Space Marines decided they didn't want to take this mission... ... when you've been recruited by Colonel Schaeffer...
__________________   Lord of Fluff and Blood Angels Herald of Nurgle "I wield my power with the Emperor's Authority. Those who would say that I am 'radical' merely have minds too small and impotent to realize all the weapons at their disposal. Do not question my methods on account of these so-called 'Puritans'." -Inquisitor Mathias Rosenadel | |
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11-18-2006
| #11 (permalink) | |
| The Grammar Cop Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: the TC personal =][= estate on Encaladus
Posts: 1,730
Rep Power: 2 Thanks: 55
Thanked 25 Times in 18 Posts
Blog Entries: 4 | Quote:
__________________ My Site: www.freewebs.com/ejshtuffz All of my stuff are there. Current Projects, etc. General Wargaming Guide: here Picture/Art Blog: here (BT) Asomrof: Crusade Fluff: here Crusaders Fluff: here (BT) "2k7-2k8 NHL Season" Crusade (i.e. Ottawa Senators) [WIP] http://www.freewebs.com/jason-lastword/index.htm | |
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11-18-2006
| #12 (permalink) |
| Trooper  Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Virgo Supercluster
Posts: 106
Rep Power: 2 Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
| You note that a stiff breeze just broke your flak vest. Your sergeant yells "Fix Bayonets!" The Earthshaker munition shells turn out to be barrels of gin. The commisar has more bullets than he knows what to do with. You realize the guys you're facing are Ultramarines, and your squadmates are chanting blasphemous runes. All your enemies' guns are Strength 6 AP 5. Your laser targeter is doing more damage than the actual round. That avacado just gave you a wedding ring. You see the soldier behind you just charged up his plasma gun. And his eyes are glowing. You're on a planet called Catacharn or something. You just passed a sign that says "Welcome to Commorragh" The trooper in your squad with the flamer is a jerk. And he's your commisar. Your entire platoon just has to take down one guy. His name is Magnus the Beige or something like that.
__________________ Any old saying looks more profound when written in italics "Forty thousand what? Forty thousand ways to never meet a girl?" "Never engage Satan in a knife-fight. Those hands do more than just fiddle, you know." Free demos for Dawn of War II on this site! |
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11-18-2006
| #13 (permalink) |
| Filthy, Dirty Radical Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: lost in a blizzard, somewhere near toronto!
Posts: 3,018
Rep Power: 4 Thanks: 32
Thanked 262 Times in 193 Posts
| ... you've been sent to check out a minor bug infestation. ... you've just been issued a plasma gun. ... your plasma gun is giving off a strange high-pitch noise.
__________________ "Who are you to question my methods?! A 'Puritan' is simply a coward who hides behind a veil of pretended faith and denounces his loyal brother as a traitor out of simple jealousy!" - Inquisitor Odion |
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11-18-2006
| #14 (permalink) |
| Trooper  Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Missouri, USA
Posts: 55
Rep Power: 0 Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
| When they start issuing grav-chutes, yours looks suspiciously like a demo charge.. When there's a vindicare in the opposing army, and they just gave you the vox-caster...
__________________ Task Force Serpent's Narrative Campaign, the Battle for Rorian IX, Starts Dec. 14! www.got41m.com/rorianix/rorianix |
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11-19-2006
| #16 (permalink) |
| Filthy, Dirty Radical Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: lost in a blizzard, somewhere near toronto!
Posts: 3,018
Rep Power: 4 Thanks: 32
Thanked 262 Times in 193 Posts
| ... when commissar Dread is assigned to your squad. ... when your squad is assigned to guard a sanctioned psyker. ... when escorting a sanctioned psyker, trooper jenkins goes missing and the commissar starts looking in your general direction!
__________________ "Who are you to question my methods?! A 'Puritan' is simply a coward who hides behind a veil of pretended faith and denounces his loyal brother as a traitor out of simple jealousy!" - Inquisitor Odion |
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11-19-2006
| #17 (permalink) |
| Trooper Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Virgo Supercluster
Posts: 106
Rep Power: 2 Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
| It's a brand-new day, and you're in the imperial guard. enough said.
__________________ Any old saying looks more profound when written in italics "Forty thousand what? Forty thousand ways to never meet a girl?" "Never engage Satan in a knife-fight. Those hands do more than just fiddle, you know." Free demos for Dawn of War II on this site! |
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11-22-2006
| #20 (permalink) |
| Filthy, Dirty Radical Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: lost in a blizzard, somewhere near toronto!
Posts: 3,018
Rep Power: 4 Thanks: 32
Thanked 262 Times in 193 Posts
| ... you wake up in the penal legion.
__________________ "Who are you to question my methods?! A 'Puritan' is simply a coward who hides behind a veil of pretended faith and denounces his loyal brother as a traitor out of simple jealousy!" - Inquisitor Odion |
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11-22-2006
| #21 (permalink) |
| Primer  Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Dunedin, Nz
Posts: 37
Rep Power: 0 Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
| ....the Grey knights run past you screaming ....strange Eldar women run at you screaming ....You are posted to the Witch Hunters group ....you are told they have to downgrade your lasgun ....you are "volunteered" to go on the "special mission" ....Col Schaeffer asks you to "help him out"
__________________ "There is no such thing as innocence, merely various degrees of Guilt!!!! |
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11-23-2006
| #22 (permalink) |
| The Grammar Cop Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: the TC personal =][= estate on Encaladus
Posts: 1,730
Rep Power: 2 Thanks: 55
Thanked 25 Times in 18 Posts
Blog Entries: 4 | ...when you find out what your armour is made of
__________________ My Site: www.freewebs.com/ejshtuffz All of my stuff are there. Current Projects, etc. General Wargaming Guide: here Picture/Art Blog: here (BT) Asomrof: Crusade Fluff: here Crusaders Fluff: here (BT) "2k7-2k8 NHL Season" Crusade (i.e. Ottawa Senators) [WIP] http://www.freewebs.com/jason-lastword/index.htm |
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11-27-2006
| #23 (permalink) | |
| Master Procrastinator    Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: As a figment of my own deranged imagination, i don't actually exist anywhere. Or London, UK.
Posts: 3,356
Rep Power: 5 Thanks: 196
Thanked 332 Times in 241 Posts
Blog Entries: 1 | you join the imperial guard
__________________ Quote:
 Howling At The Moon - A Truescale Space Wolf W.I.P Black Legion W.I.P Frozen Leaves Falling to Cut - eldar W.I.P | |
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11-27-2006
| #25 (permalink) |
| Filthy, Dirty Radical Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: lost in a blizzard, somewhere near toronto!
Posts: 3,018
Rep Power: 4 Thanks: 32
Thanked 262 Times in 193 Posts
| ... you're being sent to some world called armageddon yet again.
__________________ "Who are you to question my methods?! A 'Puritan' is simply a coward who hides behind a veil of pretended faith and denounces his loyal brother as a traitor out of simple jealousy!" - Inquisitor Odion |
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11-27-2006
| #26 (permalink) |
| Trooper  Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 111
Rep Power: 2 Thanks: 0
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
| ...when you're told you'll be fighting with an entire legion of Marines. Then you realise - when they said "with", they meant "against"...
__________________ Lurking in the Shadows of 40k Terra. |
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11-27-2006
| #27 (permalink) |
| Trooper Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Missouri, USA
Posts: 55
Rep Power: 0 Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
| When you get assigned to a special weapons squad....that's been given lasguns and demo charges. "Just pull the string and throw. It's got a fifteen second fuse--or was that one point five? Meh, whatever."
__________________ Task Force Serpent's Narrative Campaign, the Battle for Rorian IX, Starts Dec. 14! www.got41m.com/rorianix/rorianix |
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