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01-24-2008
| #1 (permalink) |
| Conscript   Join Date: Sep 2007
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|  The Betrayer Kharn, favored Champion! Chaos Chosen! Will ever thy thirst for blood be sated? Once a warrior for man, now A warrior still, But for thy betrayal! For even soldiering in the service of your Emperor could not Fulfill your deepest desire, To pledge yourself to the Lord of Carnage! Blood, bone, and daemonic fire! O' Tempest of martial fury unabated Let loose the howl from countenance with rage fouled, And spill the hot blood of your enemies, whether friend or foe The Lord of Skulls does not care For the Empyrean is a thing which a man never can truly know.
__________________ "No world shall be beyond my rule; no enemy shall be beyond my wrath." +++The Emperor+++ |
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01-24-2008
| #2 (permalink) |
| The Dark Apostle     Join Date: Oct 2006
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 | Re: The Betrayer very cool! couple things though: "Let loose the howl from countenance with rage fouled," his rage isnt fouled, its....never ending? should be UNfouled IMO ''And spill the hot blood of your enemies, whether friend or foe'' you have a double entendre right there. you say enemies, then wether friend or foe. you alread established that 'they' are enemeis. maybe replace it with 'And spill the hot blood on the ground, whether friend or foe' otherwise, very cool.
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01-24-2008
| #3 (permalink) |
| Lord Commander Militant    Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Ohio, still waiting for a GW Store.
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| Re: The Betrayer Dude I dub thee "Poetry Lord of Terra" Good stuff, Its a totally different angle on our beloved 40k. Baron
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01-24-2008
| #4 (permalink) |
| Conscript Join Date: Sep 2007
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| Re: The Betrayer Thx Baron, and in response to Dan, yeah you might be right about the first part, but the second issue you addressed is something I said intentionally. This is because Kharn, according to the lore presented in William King's short story in the Let the Galaxy Burn collection, murdered both his comrades and the enemy during the combat on the frozen world of Skalathrax while in the Eye of Terror, since he felt that his World Eater's compatriots had deserted their oaths to the Blood God. In fact, this action on his part signaled the end of the World Eater's as a cohesive fighting force and turned them into bands of berzerkers roving the Eye of Terror.
__________________ "No world shall be beyond my rule; no enemy shall be beyond my wrath." +++The Emperor+++ |
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01-24-2008
| #5 (permalink) | |
| The Phoenician   Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Louisville, KY
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Blog Entries: 3    | Re: The Betrayer Quote:
__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. That which causes us trials shall yield us triumph, and that which makes our hearts ache shall fill us with gladness. For the only true happiness is to learn, to advance and to improve. None of this could happen without rejecting error, ignorance, and imperfection. We must pass out of the darkness to reach the light.' - The Primarch Fulgrim, Attainment of Perfection Tutorials: To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. | |
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01-25-2008
| #6 (permalink) |
| Lieutenant  Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Ireland
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Blog Entries: 4 | Re: The Betrayer I must remember to upload some of my stuff here sometime, though i don't have any 40k poetry yet...
__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. The opinions posted above are solely the property of the Ides account and are in no way representative of those views held by the staff of this forum. "I'd consider him dangerous...he's too hairy not to be." Phil Ken Sebben For sale: One soul. Mint Condition, never been used. |
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