calm before the storm.

[lord marcus]

The fighting was bloody. Piles of dead men were scattered everywhere before the shadow paladin’s position, the result of two waves of enemy infantry breaking against the solid bulwark that was the shadow paladins. Captain Isaac had seen slaughter before but this was mindless, every wave pulsing with barley contained fury, before they were mowed down by deadly accurate bolter fire. Those that got close were shredded by chainswords, lightning claws, power fists, power weapons, even combat knives if it came down to it. The walls of the bombed out building, further built up by sandbags, had stemmed the tide, taking the punishment of several thousand las blasts and heavy bolter shells without faltering. This was the shadow paladin’s position, and they couldn’t give up. Because of rebel anti-aircraft guns, reinforcements were stymied, but the marines of the paladins had suffered much worse, and nothing could make them back down.

The next wave was coming and Isaac could feel it. Silently activating the vox bead in his throat, we switched to the command channel.
“Chaplain, switch to all squads and give the boys some encouragement.” He said. The reason Isaac called his command “boys” was because he was over two hundred years old, his enhanced body ever keeping him alive.
“Yes commander, any recommendation?” came the reply. Chaplain Ihunica was stationed on the opposite side of the barricade, and from his tone, he was itching to cut a rebel from shoulder to midriff with his crozius Arcanum.
“How about the prayer issaya?” said Isaac. The vox crackled with the chaplain’s reply.
“Good choice commander, it shall be done.”
As the words of the ancient battle-hymn of his chapter were sung, Isaac readied his weapons and awaited the wave of death….

[TerminatorinHell]

thats pretty good, short and sweet what chapter are they , who are they fighting, I HAVE TO KNOW!!! so please do indeed write some more

[lord marcus]

my own diy, the shadow paladins, decendants of almighty dorn. if you read it it says they are fighting rebels, and there will be more when i have the freaking chance to write! (IE: the weekend) also, i will scan or take a pic of the "planet details" thingie i did in school, when i had a min off.

[Captain Slow]

Very ncie, good work Marcus.
but, one or two crtiques.
1: it was too short?! write the rest! its a good start, where are you going to go with it?
2: describe the overall landscape, not just the position in which the paladins position. EG: what colour is the sky? what is the weather like? is it a desert planet? is it raining? is it muddy? that kind of thing.

keep it up marcus.