Serious problems.

[Dragoon King]

Right, I feel a little awkward sharing this, and that's saying something, cause you all know I have no shame. I'm having serious problems right now. First off, here's some of my gripes. First off, me and the wife have been fighting alot. We are both stressed to the max. She is not supposed to be out of bed, but all her family wants to do is call here at all hours of the night and have her run errands. Now I like her family, don't get me wrong, but all they seem to do is stress her. I won't go into much detail, cause I got a lot more problems. Next, her dog. I'm not a dog person. The dog does not obey me, and he has a habit now of going #2 on the sidewalk. This drives me insane. Plus he gets hair everywhere. Which leads me to this. I have a cat who I've owned for 8 years, and when I moved in here, she started loosing lots of weight and throwing up almost every day(she was always chubby) and I think the dog has given here worms or something. I've took her to the vet, and in short all they did was take my money and give me wormer that didn't work. I got some more wormer, gave it to her last night, and I fear she may not make it till I can get some money to take her to another vet (I'm broke, which I'll get to in a minute). She has done nothing but lay around all day, and can barely walk. She is a pack of bones. Indeed, this is stressing me to no end. Back to the dog. I want it gone, but the wife refuses. I don't want animals around when the baby arrives (forgot to mention the wife is preggy), and I'm willing to give up my cat, but only if I can get her healthy again and find her a good home, where she will be taken care of and loved. We have been fighting about this alot lately. It has gotten so bad I just wanna pack up and leave. The dog keeps me stressed, and therefore my nerves are on edge. Also, we have a sorry excuse for a landlord. There is a smell that comes from underneath the house that smells like raw sewage. The drains in this house stay clogged, but he will do nothing about it. Now, the drains are one thing, the smell is a real concern. I think a line has busted. When we brought it up to the landlord, he simply said get some RidX. Oh yeah, money. The wife is not able to work, she has been bleeding, and the doctor put her on bedrest. I am not working either, and I've been trying to get someone to take me to look for work. No luck. I do not drive, and she is going back to work this weekend, so I feel like I'm stuck in this hole. Plus our bed is crap, and I'm still sore from the surgery, and it's not really getting better. I was gonna take some online courses for medical transcription, but it costs money, which I don't have. On top of this, my grandmother is very sick with cancer, and my brother-in-law had an epidural because he has severe back pain, and now he has almost no feeling in his legs. His condition is getting better, and I don't think the damage will be permanent, but my sister is also pregnant and stressed over this, so I worry about that also. Now, to my unborn baby. As some of you know, the wife had a miscarriage back in the summer. With the new pregnancy, I do not feel attached to the child. Matter of fact, I kinda want everyone just to leave me alone. I've never been real cold-hearted, but it seems with every passing day I become more irritable and jaded. Seriously, the wife and I have had some major fights in the last few days, and that is good for noone, the baby especially. Now, I believe in God, and have even thought seriously about being saved very soon. But lately I have stopped talking (no, I'm not a nutjob, I mean talking from my heart) to him, which I used to do every day. I feel as though he has forgotten about me, that I am not worthy of his grace. I try to do the best I can, but it always seems to end in failure. I don't know, maybe I'm just being a big baby about all this. Inside I feel my spirit is broken, and I don't feel like trying anymore.

[TerminatorinHell]

wow... that must hurt, i felt like not trying after my grandpa dies of cancer. Arguments are a normal part of a relation ship but as far as the pets since i don't have any (fish don't really count) i have no idea wot to do mate. Keep praying though

[Brother Warchild]

I really feel you on this DK as things get hard and around pregnacys everything is amplified. You have to remember when a womans pregnant shes moody (believe me i know i have 3 kids) and you have to pick your battles. The dog thing i understand becouse when my wife and i got together she had a dog and it was a piece of sht. Dont push to much on getting rid of it,i did and it only caused more arguements.When the baby comes she will realize what needs to be done.And as far as the cat goes we have talked about it before, my dogs 14 and i have to put her down soon and its hard exspecially since vet visits are extremely costly,but you can only do what you can do.In short stay Strong Brother things have a way of working out.
And you have rights as a renter there has to be something you can do.Check online about your renters rights.You could be a real ass and call the health department on your landlord but that might cause issues.

[Dragoon King]

Originally Posted by Brother Warchild

I really feel you on this DK as things get hard and around pregnacys everything is amplified. You have to remember when a womans pregnant shes moody (believe me i know i have 3 kids) and you have to pick your battles. The dog thing i understand becouse when my wife and i got together she had a dog and it was a piece of sht. Dont push to much on getting rid of it,i did and it only caused more arguements.When the baby comes she will realize what needs to be done.And as far as the cat goes we have talked about it before, my dogs 14 and i have to put her down soon and its hard exspecially since vet visits are extremely costly,but you can only do what you can do.In short stay Strong Brother things have a way of working out.
And you have rights as a renter there has to be something you can do.Check online about your renters rights.You could be a real ass and call the health department on your landlord but that might cause issues.

Right, I guess I might as well get used to the dog, but I really don't like them. My cat will have to go when the baby arrives, and it will break my heart, she is such a sweet cat (assuming she lives that long, I'm borrowing money to take her to the vet tomorrow). I just can't sit here and watch her suffer. I have actually thought about calling the health department, but I just wanna get out of this house. I hate this town, where I grew up they were not a lot of people, but at least I could get some peace. We're right by a road, and the neighbors all have dogs that bark all night. Not to mention the landlord is sorrier that whalecrap at the bottom of the ocean. Just like something to go right for a change. Oh, I'll send your stuff from the trade as soon as I can, I feel terribile for not being able to ship right now. Just give me a few days, I'll make sure it reaches you. Gosh, if I had hair, I'd be pulling it out! I feel a little better now, I can always rely on you guys to cheer me up. Maybe I just need to sit down, relax, and think of some ways to solve all my problems. It helps to vent here, at least I won't take it out on the wife (which I feel completely lower than pond scum now for doing). Is there such a thing a sympathy hormones? I believe the man getting sick when the woman is preggy, because last time I got so sick I thought I had food poisioning. I must find a job soon, that is a major source of stress. I'm gonna try to get over to the call center tomorrow, the stress incurred at that job pales in comparison to what I'm going through now. Assuming they will rehire me, that is. I did pretty well at that, so maybe the will cut me some slack. I should have never left in the first place, but I do not handle stress well. As you said, I must do what I have to do, or we will be completely destitute soon.

[Sir_Servo]

Well a few words for ya buddy.

Stay strong. I know it sounds cliche. I know it is not easy. I know you want a miricle answer, but it just isn't going to be easy. Stay strong, have faith, and everything will work out. If you have to, do what you are doing now just vent to us. Most of us have been in some form of trouble or another and it is friends that you can count on that make all the difference in the world when you feel like you are in a **** hole.

Remember that you have a beautiful baby on the way. It is the miricle of life that your wife carries now and that is one of the most precious gifts that you can be given.

As for in-laws... well... what can be said about them, that is nice... hmmm... I guess I will go with the if you can't say anything nice than don't say anything at all stand on this one.

When it comes to dealing with Land lords this can be very tricky. If you make to agressive of a move than that will be taken as offense and they will start to look for a way to give you the boot. I would suggest contacting a lawyer. There are plenty of Lawyers that will give free advice on your situation and some might even be willing to do pro-bono work as well. It might be worth a call to the city, but once again if you get them involved make sure to talk to a lawyer first to get yourself covered so that you won't be caught with you pants down. Land Lords can be *******s, but if you deal with them appropriately you can win the day. Just make sure that you do everything by the book and most important of all, Pay your rent on time! If you don't do this that can be used against you because your lease is bassically a contract and they will bury you for that. It doesn't matter how much problems you have if you don't pay the rent on time your ass is grass if the Land Lord chooses.

Like I said, stay strong man and keep the faith. If you need us just give a shout and we will be here for ya bud.

Servo

[Baron von Lexus]

I'll pray for you DK, and hopefully things will get better.
It takes alot of courage to share these type of things to people you are close with and even more to put it on the internet and it speaks alot to 1) the type of supportive community we have here and 2) That we mean that much to you and we're all here for you man.

Again I honestly hope things improve for you,

BvL

[Rellik]

you just need to keep your head up man ive been where your at! belive me it will get better.

[Wakim]

Sorry i couldn`t read everything (i`m horribly exhausted, i can barely type) but... you need to do something else. anything else. something that will calm you down

Remember that however ****** it gets, you`re the one that can make it better.

People do dumb things. Making them see their error won`t always help. (take me for example, i know a whole lot more then most people about a lot but yet i still make dumb choices every single day, and i know they`re wrong while i`m doing them but yet i can`t stop).


So... try to keep a level head, choose your words very carefully and get things straight.

Your main priority at this point should be comforting your wife.


Take care!

[SteveBerenyi]

hey DK, i feel your pain. Life is ****** here to. well man if you need someone to talk at you got my AIM and email.

[word bearers 81007]

damn DK I thought i had alot on my plate with life. the only advise i can give is keep going every day is a new day and it can be that day that things start turning around. just keep trying and don't let life drag you all the way down. giving up does nothing for you in the end. i got a wife who is pregnant i know your pain, just try to keep her as happy as you can, it will make it easier on her and sooner or later it will make it easier on you. as for the work thing i don't know what to say considering i don't know how the area you live in is, so i can't say anything about your employment issues. and have you went into the crawl space of you house to see if you can tell if something is wrong, my old duplex i lived in a few years back never had the shower in the main bath hooked to the sewer so one night the combination of lots of booze, 55 gallons of lime jello, and a couple white t-shirts on a few gals resulted in the complete flooding of my crawl space and lots of mold. check it out and call your landlord back to inform him if you find anything.

[Templar Mikeel]

Whew, wow! That's a lot of crap to be dealing with at one time. I've never experienced most of it. There are a few things I have to say though. Keep praying. When the going gets tough the tough get going. Oh, that's not really what I mean. When life sucks, don't think that God has forgotten you. I recommend you watch the movie Facing the Giants. It parallels closely what you're going through right now, and shows that you should never give up hope, or give up faith. Keep praying. Persevere. Life is guaranteed to suck. Giving up now will only make it worse.

[Astral Claw 126]

Hey Dragoon. First, my heart goes out to you and your family. Keep your chin up, and trust that there is always a way out ( and not THAT way). I mean, I am not in your situation, but I understand how hard life can be and how it feels to be cut off from the world ( a word comes to mind...starts with I ends with Q...sounds like IRAQ...twice...). Just hang in there man, and know you are strong enough to survive anything. The human spirit is a very powerful thing my friend.

[munkey joe paints]

DK you are in my thoughts and Prayers (not overly religious in the sence but for you buddy I will talk to the Gods) May whatever higher being you worship Bless you and make this a trial for the many years of Blessed togetherness that you and your wife will share. I am not Christian but one of my favorite stories from Christianity is "Footprints" By Mary Stevenson, which i will post in this response.

Second for your animal...I am a avid suporter of the ASPCA and my wife is a vet tech by one of her trades. I reccommend that you take the Cat to the closest ASPCA shelter and let them take care of your animal. Every ASPCA shelter is full of caring loving people that will care for your cat in the best mannner imagined. Most have Vets on call also and will give your cat the love and care it needs. explain your situation to them and all will be ok.

Stay strong My Brother, and may you soon be Blessed. As promised the poem "Footsteps"

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,

“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”

The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mary Stevenson, 1936

[Dragoon King]

Thanks for the support guys, and the good advice. Well, I'm determined to make some changes, I'm gonna find another place. That smell is making us quite sick. We have to keep the doors and windows open (which is probably not a good ideal, since there is a lot of pillhead scumbags here, but hey, I got a shotgun and I'm very handy with it). It's nothing but raw sewage. So in the morning, I'm gonna call everywhere I can. Then, when we leave, I'm calling the health department on that sorry, good for nothing, drug addict landlord (did I mention he spends all his money on hookers and drugs?). I may punch him in the face. Hard. Real hard. Grrr, I just wanna smash something. I know that staying upset is not good for neither me or the wife, but how could I not be stressed? Even if I do put in applications for work, all I get is some moron that tells me to call back. Yeah, I do and get a different moron. Seriously, I've put in applications at every possible place around here, yet no one will hire me, or they say nothing is open. I hate this town. Like the security job I wanted. I called every other day for almost 3 weeks, and yet I could not contact the man who did the actual interviews. The receptionists were just freakin lazy, I think. Seriously, people around here are so sorry. They take pride in nothing they do. When I do something, I do it to the best of my ability, work included. I think moving is the best thing we can do, I do not want to raise a child around here.

[Brother Warchild]

That might actually be a good idea.Sometimes a change of scenary really helps.Dont punch him though as good as it would feel it mightgetyouin a bad place,besides hookers and drugs hes gonna catch something or od.

[r4wr89]

if that's what it takes to calm down, DK, then break something [preferably something not valuable]
i know what it's like to feel helpless too. the doctor just told us that my mom has 2 tumors in her uterus [and this after half a year of fighting, and finally more or less beating breast cancer]

and i know what it feels like to just be sick of everything, sick of having to even deal with the little crap that comes up, and it just builds and builds...

i think finding a new place, like you've mentioned, would definitely help things. i honestly am not trying to sound condescending, since i know you're older than me and command a lot of respect, even just here on the forum, but once the suspicious smell is out of the way, and you're in a better living place i think that will take a lot of the stress out of the situation. maybe if the pets are causing trouble, leave them with some friends or family you trust for a while, until you and your wife are doing better health-wise, and it would likely help stop the fighting, especially since both of you are so worn out, and going at each other can't possibly do anything but hurt the situation.

maybe once you've read these posts, have her read them too, just so you both know that we're praying for you, to whatever god or gods we believe in.

you know, i've been a christian my entire life. not cause people force me to, or because i like televangelists, but because i honestly have looked at some other stuff and this God is who i chose. it may sound stupid, but i honestly will be praying for you, DK. life sucks sometimes, i know, but i know you and your wife and pets will pull through.

-anthony

[hairyyahoo]

i'm not sure if this will help you at all but there is a little story i think about when things are all going pear shaped in my life.

many years ago there live a farmer who owned the finest stallion that anyone had ever seen. then one night, in a feirce storm, the stallion broke down the fence and bolted off into the forrest. the man's neighbours heard the news the came to comfort him, saying "how unfortunate that such a terrible thing has happened to you". the farmer, being somewhat wiser than his friends, mearly said "perhaps"

three days later whilst repairing his fence the farmer heard the sound of horses and looked up to see his stallion returning from the forest trailing four of the finest mares anyone had ever seen. again, on hearing the news his neighbours gathered around him to share in his good fortune saying "what a blessing this is for you, how fortunate you are. and again the farmer said "perhaps"

the next day the farmers son was trying to break in one of the mares and was thrown from the saddle, breaking his leg. the farmers neighbours came to him again saying "now your son cannot help you with the harvest, what a stroke of bad luck for you". "perhaps" was all the farmer said.

the next week an army conscription squad came to the area and signed up all the young men to go off to war, but they passed over the farmers son due to his injury. the neighbours all said "how fortunate that your son was passed over for the army, now he won't be killed in battle. that injury was a real stroke of luck for you".

"perhaps" replied the farmer.

this story always reminds me that something that seems really bad now might just be the cause of something really good tomorrow.

[Dragoon King]

r4wr89, I am sorry to hear about your mother. Best wishes to you and her. Cancer is a terrible thing. Hairy, thanks again for lifting my spirits. Warchild, your right, violence never solves anything, besides, he's not worth it. Oh, and I borrowed some money from family, so I'm taking the cat to the vet tomorrow, I don't really know how much 50 bucks will do. We are going tomorrow to look for a place. The wife and I sat down and had a long, serious talk. I feel terrible about lashing out at her, she has tried everything to help with the cat. Now the dog, while I don't like him or any other dogs, I'll just have to get used to. I know she loves it, like I do my cat. We are going to Tennessee soon to look for a place, there are a lot more jobs there. Or maybe another town in Ky called Middlesboro. Anywhere but here is fine with me. We are in the process of packing up, so hopefully in a few weeks we'll be out of this dump. I think finding a new job will do me good, because even though I like being by myself, I need to get out every now and then. Stuffed up in the house may be working on my nerves to. At least when the weather gets warmer, I can grab my fishing pole (thankfully, the wife enjoys fishing too, and not to brag, but I'm an awesome fisherman, hehe. My dad is the best I've ever seen, those chumps on the T.V. have nothing on him, and I've learned a lot from him over the years.) and that always calms me. I wanna touch on religion guys. I respect ALL religions, and I hope that talking about it does not offend. I think that all religions are just different ways to reach the same goal, oneness with the higher power. Some may not believe in religion, and I don't agree some doctrines and practices of most organized religions, but I respect them all. I do believe someone is watching over us all. The preacher who married us did a fantastic job, and while waiting for the wedding to start, I told him about the miscarriage, and how this time I wanted the child not to be conceived out of wedlock. During the ceremony, he said "and my God bless your children". I almost cried. In fact, I'm tearing up a bit right now thinking about it. I am not ashamed to say so. Deep down I know I have not been forgotten, even though sometimes I feel like it. I only hope I'm forgiven for such doubt. I think that preacher and his wife are really good people, they helped us so much. I wanna start going to their church, so this Sun. we are gonna get our butts down there. That will be the only thing I miss about this place, the jovial, chubby little preacher and his wife. I swear, I think of Friar Tuck from the Disney Robin Hood every time I see him, lol. He's such a nice man. I'm feeling better now, and I think I'll feel even more content once we move, I find work, and we start going to church. I'm ready to get up off my bum and make a change, so thanks guys for all the support! Besides, my Black Legion can't grow if I don't have money and a bigger room to put them in, hehe.

[hairyyahoo]

glad to hear that you're back onthe path of rightiousness my friend, and it's wonderful that you and the missus cleared the air. talking about problems is often the key to solving them, doubley so in relationships. while i don't really believe in gods and higher powers i'll say a few prayers for you on the off chance

[masterofweirdness]

Originally Posted by Dragoon King

r4wr89, I am sorry to hear about your mother. Best wishes to you and her. Cancer is a terrible thing. Hairy, thanks again for lifting my spirits. Warchild, your right, violence never sol